家有悍妻 The Untamed Wife

這星球不夠容納我們兩個。我走啦﹗
This planet ain’t big enough for the two of us, so… OFF YA GO!!!

Daffy Duck

看 過卡通片“懼內的達飛鴨”(The Henpecked Duck)嗎﹖在外神采煥發的達飛鴨﹐在家碰到趾高氣揚的鴨媽媽﹐是甚麼情景呢﹖ 鴨媽媽外出﹐囑咐達飛鴨好好在家孵蛋。無聊之至的老公﹐就拿蛋來練習魔術﹐沒想到給變丟了。在鴨媽媽的咆哮聲中﹐垂頭喪氣的達飛鴨走出被審訊的模樣﹐真讓 咱家老爺掬一把同情之淚。他們對簿公堂﹐又是為啥﹖ 有一天﹐我的公公問老公﹕“太太的定義是甚麼﹖” “是朋友。” “太太怎麼可能是朋友﹖太太是個你說東﹐她說西的敵人。” 與其說他們的感情有問題﹐倒不如形容他們的婚姻﹐具有強烈的革命精神。 我的婆婆高中畢業典禮後的第三天﹐就跟即將從費城遠征西雅圖任職的公公步上禮堂。 婚後﹐她奮發向上﹐博覽群籍。超過半世紀脣槍舌戰的操練﹐只要戰事開打﹐婆婆便引經據典﹐雄辯滔滔﹐氣勢不亞於當了大半輩子教授的公公。 “如果你贏不了你的敵人﹐至少要與他並駕齊驅。”鬥志高昂的婆婆說。她常年在網球比賽所向無敵﹐靠的正是毅力與苦練。 有位身歷其境的親戚說﹕“每次他們吵架﹐都以為他們已走到婚姻的終點。但是﹐吵過後﹐發覺他們的感情比以前更好。有些人是越辯越明﹐通過辯論以了解彼此思想的。” 兒子剛在日本上一年級時﹐從同學家玩回來。 “為甚麼同學的媽媽﹐都這麼“耐斯”﹐你這麼兇﹖”眼界大開的兒子﹐挑戰嚴母﹖ 是呀﹗就是自知其短﹐才遠渡重洋來學溫柔嘛。每次見到日本媽媽﹐總是謙恭有禮親切的笑容更 是從眼尾一直擠到嘴角﹐ 我立志要努力學習溫柔之道。 我的左鄰公寓﹐住著一位年輕的日本太太﹐帶著兩個稚子。每次碰面﹐傳統的九十度鞠躬不說﹐善解人意的微笑問安﹐說起話來﹐就像小鳥一樣悅耳動聽。活生生的 有如從書本走出的賢妻良母﹐老公讚不絕口。 “為妻者﹐當若是﹗”老公指示學習目標。 取經不必長途跋涉﹐模範就在眼前我只要東施效顰﹐何樂而不為﹖ <a

公寓的牆壁單薄﹐日子一久﹐發覺“隔牆有耳”﹐真是無可奈何的事。

鄰居那個感冒
和吵架﹐我們都瞭如指掌。先生半夜歸來被鎖在門外的哀求聲﹐夫婦戰鼓齊鳴聲﹐
冬夜小孩從棉褥被母親拉起﹐左右開弓甩耳光的哭聲﹐再加上太太從早到晚喋喋不
休的嘮叨聲。

日以繼夜﹐炮聲隆隆我們天天都為這種疲勞轟炸抓狂。令老公不解的是出門輕
盈可愛的小鳥﹐進門卻搖身一變為饒舌的烏鴉﹖

搬回加州後﹐我如釋重負。但是﹐想到半途而廢溫柔之道﹐覺得心有戚戚小心翼翼地詢問老公﹕“還要我再學溫柔嗎﹖”

你們作丈夫的﹐要愛你們的妻子﹔正如基督愛教會﹐為教會捨己。 弗 5﹕25

最近﹐老公在他的部落格寫上這麼一段話﹕“身為基督徒的先生﹐終其一生﹐都要
為太太效勞﹐愛家庭又顧家﹐並忍受一切﹐直到老死。太太還能再要求甚麼呢﹖” 再配上蜘蛛先生在鞠躬盡瘁後﹐還要成為毒寡婦蜘蛛美食的圖片。

這圖文並茂﹐慷慨成仁﹐捨己為妻的說法﹐﹐大大地感動了好幾個粉絲。當然囉﹐他筆下悍妻的輪廓﹐也呼之欲出。

有個退休的印度讀者叫魯慕舍。他去年喪妻﹐非常懷念結衾四十多年的伴侶。魯慕
舍很有學問﹐用字遣詞都大有文章。即使只是看他留的意見﹐我不但要查字典﹐還
要上網查詢典故的來龍去脈。這麼一位學著居然挺身而出﹐為我打抱不平。他引用了下面這段
故事﹕

古希臘哲學家安提斯泰尼 (Antisthenes c. 445-c. 365 BC)﹐問他的老師蘇格拉底
(Socrates c. 469 BC–399 BC)﹐為何會娶比他年輕四十歲的悍妻贊西佩(Xanthippe)﹖

一代宗師回答﹕“傑出的馬術師﹐不會選擇溫順的馬。因為他們知道﹐如果可以降
服桀傲不馴的悍馬﹐他們就能輕鬆自如駕駑一般的馬。同樣道理﹐如果我能容忍她
暴躁的脾氣﹐我也就可以和所有的人和睦共處。”

“凶悍的太太﹐正是蘇格拉底維持婚姻成功的主因。”魯慕舍安慰的說。

不過﹐結尾時他話鋒一轉﹕“不管你是單身還是結婚﹐你都會懊悔的。”

Advertisements

6 responses to “家有悍妻 The Untamed Wife

  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I took 3 semesters of Chinese in college to learn to read chinese, but sadly I can only read about the level of a first grader. 🙂 (I learned to speak by using romanization) It’s a pity because I would really like to read your take on Looney’s picture of the spider!

  2. Wow…I just found a feature on the toolbar that translated the text for me. But the translation was kind of awkward, so I had to sort of read between the lines. When I look at the picture of the spider, I think about the risk to the mother’s life to bear the children!

  3. Please do not feel bad. The Looney juniors learned over 10 years of Chinese and did quite well at school, but they forgot most of them now.

    Looney used to wish Mrs. Looney was as feminine as Japanese ladies. When we lived in Japan, a young nagging wife lived next door. After returning to U.S., Looney stopped complaining about Mrs. Looney. Praise the Lord.

    This blog was just set up yesterday. I am still struggling to learn the new features. Please bear with me.

  4. Hello Mrs Looney – Your husband and I are long term blogging sparring partners – and internet friends. I dont speak or read a word of Chinese so I can’t really commet on your blog contents but its nice to see that Mr Looney’s better half is a blogger too.
    Regards to you.

  5. Bunc, what a delighted surprise! Looney told me that you live in Scotland, a beautiful place where he promised to take me 18 years ago. Thanks for including me into the extended blogger community. I have been taking a break due to my recent eye surgery. Bloggers like you, Delirious, Inking, Rummuser, Marf and many others live in our daily lives. Thanks for enriching the horizon of our views.

  6. So youve been waiting 18 years for him to take you to Scotland? You are a patient wife! Its a beautiful place here but you do need rainproof clothing and the midges are a bit of a nuisance!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s